Today is a dull day...
If you ever get a phone call and you hear the news that you would rather not hear then you know how I'm feeling.
I guess all of my encouraging, persuading, comforting, reassuring, motivation, hope, prays, faith and courage didn't quite work.
And being the only one who knew, i kind of feel a tad responsible for what has happened.
I know that it has nothing to do with my actions or my decisions but maybe i could have changed those actions and decisions . just maybe.
and to know that they put their trust you and then to hear that bad news... you cant help but to feel torn and helpless and somewhat just a little little bit to blame. I know its wrong to think this, but its hard not to.
what if i had tried a little harder or prayed a little longer or said the right thing that could changed the future.
But that's the disappointing thing about life. you never know what will happen in the future and once the future has become the past ... the its too late to change what has already happened.
But lucky for you and lucky for me and lucky for everyone. god has given you one more chance.
and this time i promise not to let you slip.
I promise not to let you fall.
your a lucky lucky boy and you should always know that. take this chance and run with it. keep your chin held high. xxx
"your that star up in the sky
your that mountain peek up high
im glad you made it
cuz your the worlds greatest
your that little bit of hope
when your backs against the ropes
i can feel it
cuz your the worlds greatest."
(Bassed on The World's Greatest by R.Kelly)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
TO: A Friend, FROM: My Heart
What do you say to a friend who needs comforting.
A friend that is having a really bad time.
A friend who has really bad news.
and a friend that thinks that everything that has happened is their fault.
this is my attempt to say that everything will be fine. :)
Everyday you wake up, you breath, you eat, you laugh, you talk,
but its not every day that you cry.
Think of it like the rain that falls on a city.
the city is dirty and grimy and often hurt.
but when the rain comes... the city is renewed, cleaned, and a fresh start is about to begin.
the pain, the hurt, and the heart ache is washed away.
For every day that you cry you need to believe that everything will be ok.
For everything that has gone wrong this week and for all of the news that you have brutally faced you need to understand that non of it is your fault.
For every step you take back, you will take 2 steps forward.
You need to hold your chin up high and believe that nothing is defeatable, that nothing can hold you down, that with power and strength you can pull through.
You also need to believe that i will always be there for you, i know that im not your closest friend or the person that knows you the best. but i do know that i will be there till the end from this very point because everyone needs support in their lives and i know this more than anyone.
Times are hard for everyone and your not the only one who struggles or hears bad news. Not everything in life needs an explanation or a reason but believe that everything that happens in life if a test of faith. everything that you overcome only makes you stronger.
There is no need for an explanation from you or an apology. nothing that has happened recently is your fault and the moment that you start to believe this, is the moment that you will let it consume you.
Rather wash these thoughts clear from your mind, and start a fresh day, believing that you can persevere and succeed and enjoy smiling whilst doing so.
Stand strong because everyone will be standing with you :)
"When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No I won't be afraid
No I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me"
John Lennon - Stand By Me
A friend that is having a really bad time.
A friend who has really bad news.
and a friend that thinks that everything that has happened is their fault.
this is my attempt to say that everything will be fine. :)
Everyday you wake up, you breath, you eat, you laugh, you talk,
but its not every day that you cry.
Think of it like the rain that falls on a city.
the city is dirty and grimy and often hurt.
but when the rain comes... the city is renewed, cleaned, and a fresh start is about to begin.
the pain, the hurt, and the heart ache is washed away.
For every day that you cry you need to believe that everything will be ok.
For everything that has gone wrong this week and for all of the news that you have brutally faced you need to understand that non of it is your fault.
For every step you take back, you will take 2 steps forward.
You need to hold your chin up high and believe that nothing is defeatable, that nothing can hold you down, that with power and strength you can pull through.
You also need to believe that i will always be there for you, i know that im not your closest friend or the person that knows you the best. but i do know that i will be there till the end from this very point because everyone needs support in their lives and i know this more than anyone.
Times are hard for everyone and your not the only one who struggles or hears bad news. Not everything in life needs an explanation or a reason but believe that everything that happens in life if a test of faith. everything that you overcome only makes you stronger.
There is no need for an explanation from you or an apology. nothing that has happened recently is your fault and the moment that you start to believe this, is the moment that you will let it consume you.
Rather wash these thoughts clear from your mind, and start a fresh day, believing that you can persevere and succeed and enjoy smiling whilst doing so.
Stand strong because everyone will be standing with you :)
"When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No I won't be afraid
No I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me"
John Lennon - Stand By Me
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Thanks alot Mr Weather Man :(
Today SUCKS!!! And when i mean sucks i mean the kinda sucky feeling you get when you miss your alarm and your late to work and the rest of your day goes down hill from that very point. Or the sucky feeling when step in dog poo and you have to sit in the gutter trying to get it out with a stick whilst cars drive past and give you funny looks. Or the type of sucky feeling when...... you get the idea.
today sucks!
It sucks because its raining, and poring and bucketing and the heavens are caving in. Not only is it raining but its also windy. When wind is added to the rain you know that nature is trying to get you back for spitting your gum on the ground or leaving your muesli bar wrapper on the park bench. because when its windy and rainy you might as well through your umbrella in the bin and accept the fact that you about to get drenched. Its physically impossible to carry your school bag, your folder, your Oporto's meal, your umbrella and try to rotate 360 degree's around the street trying to prevent your umbrella from disfiguring its self. In the end ... all of the effort you put in only leaves you drenched and cold.
So this is why today sucks.
A few other personal factors contributed to my poor day but the massive "smack in the face" contributer was The Weather.
Thanks alot Mr Weather Man. :(
today sucks!
It sucks because its raining, and poring and bucketing and the heavens are caving in. Not only is it raining but its also windy. When wind is added to the rain you know that nature is trying to get you back for spitting your gum on the ground or leaving your muesli bar wrapper on the park bench. because when its windy and rainy you might as well through your umbrella in the bin and accept the fact that you about to get drenched. Its physically impossible to carry your school bag, your folder, your Oporto's meal, your umbrella and try to rotate 360 degree's around the street trying to prevent your umbrella from disfiguring its self. In the end ... all of the effort you put in only leaves you drenched and cold.
So this is why today sucks.
A few other personal factors contributed to my poor day but the massive "smack in the face" contributer was The Weather.
Thanks alot Mr Weather Man. :(
Sunday, May 9, 2010
"to choose or not to choose" is that the question?
The 'fight' for ones heart has always been the chosen fight for centuries...
people seek to find love and people thrive in the 'fight' or the 'chase' that relationships and love possess. but in all seriousness, how much joy does "the chase" give someone?
Recently the barriers have opened in my life and I've been pushed into the ultimate 'chase'.
At one end of the race is the prize that i want to chase after...but... i can see that the road to the finish line is soo complicated and almost impossible to reach. and at the other end of the race is another option, although this prize is one that i don't particularly want. It still looks appealing and easy enough to reach.
There are two answers to my problem... but which one is the RIGHT answer?.
1. Go for the one you like more. If you can see a future in front of you then it shouldn't matter how complicated the road is before you get there.
2. Go for the realistic option. This is clearly more obtainable and sensible and your feelings are less likly to get hurt. You never know, your feelings might really grow for this person.
OH and i forgot to mention the 3rd question. This question umbrella's question 1 and 2 after they have been asked.
3. BUT WHAT IF?
What if i go for option 1 and i wasted all that time chasing and chasing, taking chance after chance, slowly trying to block out this issues and get my head in the game... and in the end the tortuse looses and is down in the dirt with out the prize.
Should i have gone for option two??
What if i go for option number 2? What if this starts out great. but you alwasy know in your heart that you picked second best. You try and be committed and dedicated to this relationship but your alwasy thinking about that clear obvious truth and with a big whopping time bomb staring you in the face all you can think of is 'how long will i have to endure this before i forget about option 1'.
to chase or not to chase?... to choose or not to choose?.
do i go for the chase or do i choose the end result?
Although many people will have a different optionions to which one i should choose. i am personally feeling like neither of them are making me truly happy. How can one be happy tip toeing around the cautions and problems and chasing after something that looks impossible... its soo frustrating after a certain point. How can someone be happy with choosing the prize and skipping the chase to find that you never truly wanted this prize anyway.
This chase or choose debate has been circling around and around in my head and any minute now my head is bound to spin off. All of this chasing that us teenagers call "The Game" is honestly tiring work. In the end is it worth it? does it ever work? maybe Ive just been fed some dodgy instructions on how to play this game, but right now all of this game playing, chasing and decision making has lead me to favour one particular decision. The desision to push each of these options aside and to start back at the begining of my race. to set my heart on a new goal and maybe, just maybe this one will be worth the effort i put in.
-Blake
people seek to find love and people thrive in the 'fight' or the 'chase' that relationships and love possess. but in all seriousness, how much joy does "the chase" give someone?
Recently the barriers have opened in my life and I've been pushed into the ultimate 'chase'.
At one end of the race is the prize that i want to chase after...but... i can see that the road to the finish line is soo complicated and almost impossible to reach. and at the other end of the race is another option, although this prize is one that i don't particularly want. It still looks appealing and easy enough to reach.
There are two answers to my problem... but which one is the RIGHT answer?.
1. Go for the one you like more. If you can see a future in front of you then it shouldn't matter how complicated the road is before you get there.
2. Go for the realistic option. This is clearly more obtainable and sensible and your feelings are less likly to get hurt. You never know, your feelings might really grow for this person.
OH and i forgot to mention the 3rd question. This question umbrella's question 1 and 2 after they have been asked.
3. BUT WHAT IF?
What if i go for option 1 and i wasted all that time chasing and chasing, taking chance after chance, slowly trying to block out this issues and get my head in the game... and in the end the tortuse looses and is down in the dirt with out the prize.
Should i have gone for option two??
What if i go for option number 2? What if this starts out great. but you alwasy know in your heart that you picked second best. You try and be committed and dedicated to this relationship but your alwasy thinking about that clear obvious truth and with a big whopping time bomb staring you in the face all you can think of is 'how long will i have to endure this before i forget about option 1'.
to chase or not to chase?... to choose or not to choose?.
do i go for the chase or do i choose the end result?
Although many people will have a different optionions to which one i should choose. i am personally feeling like neither of them are making me truly happy. How can one be happy tip toeing around the cautions and problems and chasing after something that looks impossible... its soo frustrating after a certain point. How can someone be happy with choosing the prize and skipping the chase to find that you never truly wanted this prize anyway.
This chase or choose debate has been circling around and around in my head and any minute now my head is bound to spin off. All of this chasing that us teenagers call "The Game" is honestly tiring work. In the end is it worth it? does it ever work? maybe Ive just been fed some dodgy instructions on how to play this game, but right now all of this game playing, chasing and decision making has lead me to favour one particular decision. The desision to push each of these options aside and to start back at the begining of my race. to set my heart on a new goal and maybe, just maybe this one will be worth the effort i put in.
-Blake
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